Sunday, November 21, 2010

mister mistaker

I always make mistakes. Actually, everyone does. But for the past few weeks, I've been repeatedly doing mistakes brought about by my simple stupidity...or is it really just my plain stupidity to be blamed?

Whenever we do something, we usually think. We think on why we should do something, what the outcomes of this certain action are, and how to do it. At times, we invest huge amount of time and effort on certain actions we consider important; the more important the actions and/or their consequences are, the more time we use to think about them. Personally, I do believe that thinking before doing something is essential and as much as possible, I make sure that I spend time thinking before I do something. Lately, however, I tend to forget to think the way I used to. Usually, I find my everyday situation very simple, free from any complicated stuff that may just cause any trouble. Yet I always end up making mistakes and worse, I even forget to realize that they are mistakes and that I am responsible for them.

Maybe I just forget to think

Thinking has always been a routine for me, so much as it has been for others. I don't know if I can call myself a critical thinker but I love thinking by looking at the different sides of a scenario while at the same time, applying my established beliefs and my limited knowledge. I even overthink at times but I end up with good ideas and decisions which never fail to deliver good results. If that were the real case, then why do I just suddenly forget to think? Forgetting is a good excuse for covering up mistakes, but is it really reasonable?

Maybe I forget to realize the importance of my actions and their consequences

When you know the importance of something, you tend to be more careful on how you handle it. I am more attentive to the things I deem special and I tend to become more serious in facing important situations. If my mistakes were related to things important to me, things that I value the most, then I shouldn't have committed any mistake in the first place. If these things are important to me, then why do I keep on making the same mistakes?

Maybe I became too assertive of my actions

I always think positively and in every action that I do I always hope for the best. When I do something, say, when I get to decide what to do with my acads, I always aim for the best and for this, I always give my best shot. This has been sort of innate in me that sometimes, I think I become confident on how I handle things; I become assertive that whatever I do would turn out great. If too much self assurance is the reason behind my mistakes, does this mean positivism won't assure you of a desirable result? Although being assertive may sound too negative, I know that my confidence on this matter is rooted on a positive outlook in life and in previous efforts that brought me good results. Then, why was being too assertive led me to making repetitive mistakes?

Maybe I am just overthinking

No, not really.

I really don't really know what these things are that make me commit the same mistakes over and over again, but whatever they are, I know that somehow I have control over them. It is indeed unfair to just blame everything on external, uncontrollable attributions but somehow, I still can't understand why I keep on making mistakes. Maybe it's because of one of the things I thought of or a combination of them, or maybe it's because of something I am yet to realize. Nonetheless, my mistakes are MY mistakes and I am solely responsible for them. I may find a couple of good excuses but at the end of the day, it was me who did what and therefore, I am the only one to be blamed. I may find it easy to say sorry but I guess I shouldn't be doing that anymore, not because I don't have to but because I have to stop being apologetic. Everyone whom I have hurt are worthy of my apologies but I think they deserve more than that. I know that I should have to accept my mistakes and take full responsibility for my past actions. But more than that, I guess I just have to learn from my mistakes, be more responsible for my actions, and be the mature person that I should be.

Small hands, again, it's my fault. I hope I won't be making the same mistakes again.

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