"Nagshu-shut up ka na naman," (you're shutting up again) a friend once said.
I don't know what there is in just keeping my mouth shut that makes me more at ease in handling unwanted situations. Whenever I come across extreme emotions, I barely say a thing. I would rather tilt my head and say nothing, thinking of how bad I am in handling these feelings.
I was never good at controlling myself. Looking back, I realize that self control is something I've always wanted to have. So when I feel like I have to avoid doing something, I find myself having a quiet time. Not only does it allow me to refrain from saying something inappropriate, it also allows me to think clearly, to have a thorough glimpse of the situation I'm into.
At times, people think I only shut up because I'm mad. Well, I also succumb to silence when I want to clear my mind. When I think of something I believe is not worth of my time, I make use of silence to simply get rid of the thought of it. I don't know about others but for me, being quiet makes it easier to erase thoughts I believe won't do me any good especially when everyone around me keeps on talking about it. I guess it's also a good way of telling others that I'm not liking the topic anymore.
I may always be misunderstood about my quiet times but I think people just have to respect me for it. Silence offers me my own personal space where I can think clearly, clear my mind, or perhaps just simply take a little time to relax. It may sound a little weird for others but I guess that's just my way of handling things while I'm still trying to gain self-control. Besides, I don't always shut up, do I?