For the past few days, I have learned that you, most of whom I consider as friends, hate me. I initially became defensive about myself, insisting that I never wanted to hurt anyone nor did I ever want to be hated. Confronting you immediately was the first thing I planned to do, to tell you what I felt and to make you realize that you were wrong about hating me. The mere thought of having friends, as I still consider you as such, disliking me bothered me. I spent a minute or two taking deep breaths, trying to avoid any forms of depression. Moments of deep contemplation, however, led me to an important realization.
It's time for me to look in the mirror.
My mouth won't throw up brutal words of rebuttal any more and my mind will give up on fabricating excuses. I won't even dare to explain my side. Evaluating myself was not an easy thing to do and as painful as it was, it made me need to swallow every bit of pride my immaturity has built up on me.
I was wrong. I've caused you so much pain and trouble that when I realized about it, I felt ashamed of myself. I did things I knew were wrong, inappropriate, dishonest, deceitful. And for all of these...
I humbly apologize.
I know that this is not easy and doing this personally would be a more difficult task, but I think this is the best thing to do for me to develop as an individual, so much as it can help us rebuild and even strengthen our friendship. In return, I would like you to help me become a better person. Criticisms will not always be pleasant to the ears but surely they will be helpful in molding a pure heart. Besides, the end of the road to maturity is still out of sight and until I have reached it, I will always need a friend to guide me on my way.